Hey, you wonderful leader!
Ever felt caught in that endless cycle of perfectionism? Since my first blog post on debunking myths ("Women Leaders, It's Time to Break Free from Perfectionism!"), I've been diving deeper into the topic.
It's exhausting to always feel like you're not good enough, right? But guess what? You're not alone. Today, let's talk about how you can unleash your true strength as a female leader by breaking free from the chains of perfectionism.
How Women Judge Themselves
Ever noticed how women often feel less confident than men? Research by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman reveals that women are often undervalued, even though they're just as, if not more, capable. Women outperform men in most leadership qualities. It's time to shed those self-doubts and recognize our own competence.
Despite updated data, the percentage of women in senior positions remains low. Only a fraction of Fortune 500 and S&P 500 CEOs are women, due to cultural biases and unconscious bias in hiring and promotion decisions.
Data consistently shows women as slightly more effective across all levels and areas of an organization. Interestingly, women tend to rate themselves lower than men. Given the opportunity, women shine just as bright as their male counterparts.
Yet, data also points out that women generally rate themselves lower than men. Specifically, women under 25 are more competent than they believe, while male leaders might be a bit overconfident. As we age, this evens out a bit. After 60, men's confidence dips, while women's confidence gets a boost.
Zenger/Folkman's data on confidence suggests organizations need to better support women. Leaders can affirm their competences and encourage them to seek promotions earlier.
And women might learn faster to grow out of their misconceptions, especially the common belief that "good enough" isn't enough. I'd like to dive deeper into this here.
The Origins of Perfectionism
Many girls are raised to believe they need to be "good" to be loved and accepted. Adolescence is a time when many girls feel pressured to be "perfect" for acknowledgment.
Children raised by perfectionists tend to be perfectionists themselves. These women expect to get things right the first time and can't forgive themselves for mistakes, leading to self-criticism, depression, and anxiety.
The Destructive Impact of Shame
Shame is a paralyzing emotion often generated by perfectionist parents. Women raised by such parents tend to judge themselves harshly and set unreasonable expectations for themselves.
Top 5 Tips to Calm Your Inner Perfectionist
Practice Self-Compassion: It's important to be kind and understanding towards yourself. Allow yourself to be human and accept that making mistakes is completely normal. Instead of criticizing yourself, acknowledge your achievements and treat yourself with the same kindness and tolerance that you offer others.
Set Realistic Goals: Instead of setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, break your goals down into smaller, manageable steps. This allows you to see progress and not feel overwhelmed by the entirety of the task. By achieving small milestones, you'll feel motivated and strengthen your self-esteem.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Perfectionist beliefs can lead you to constantly criticize yourself and be caught in an endless cycle of self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by questioning them and developing alternative, more realistic beliefs. Recognize that there is no "perfect" standard and that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process.
Accept Imperfection: Perfection is an illusion that can never be achieved. Instead of focusing on making everything perfect, accept your imperfections and view mistakes as opportunities to grow and learn. By freeing yourself from the pressure to be perfect, you can focus on your personal development and lead a more fulfilled life.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness means being present in the moment and focusing on the here and now. Instead of worrying about what went wrong in the past or what might happen in the future, take time to focus on the progress you have already made. By being mindful, you can shift your focus from perfection to personal growth.
Looking back, I see how much pressure I put on myself to be perfect. Yet, I've learned perfection is an illusion, and accepting and being authentic is far more important.
Tired of chasing perfection? It's time to free yourself. I've developed a program called "Belief.Breakthrough" focusing on self-acceptance, celebrating small wins, and learning from mistakes. Ready to join?
Follow me on Instagram @she.leads.with.mandy or visit my website https://www.mandymann.de/services-3 for the "Belief.Breakthrough" coaching.
Also, check out these books:
"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown
"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown
"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck
Let's grow stronger together and unfold your female leadership!
Sources: Zenger/Folkman; Harvard Business Review 2019-2024
#how to stop being a perfectionist
Comments